


A Night's Work

by potentiality_26



Category: Wild Wild West (TV)
Genre: Community: older_not_dead, Drunkenness, First Time, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:00:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3804541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potentiality_26/pseuds/potentiality_26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“You’d better get me out of here before I cause an international incident,” Artemus whispered in Colonel Richmond’s ear.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Privately, Richmond doubted it.  Artemus was just drunk enough to begin to show it, but when he was in full form- as he was tonight- every always seemed to go his way.  Still, if Artemus wanted to be carried out it was likely for some reason other than because he’d consumed enough alcohol to become foolish- two or three other reasons at once, probably, knowing Artemus.</em>
</p>
<p>An evening well spent.  Possibly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Night's Work

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the older_not_dead amnesty prompt: Artemus/?, Not as drunk as you think I am 
> 
> I just don't know. I saw this prompt and this is what happened. We may return to your once regularly scheduled programming in this fandom at some point. In the meantime, here's a... thing.

“You’d better get me out of here before I cause an international incident,” Artemus whispered in Colonel Richmond’s ear.

Privately, Richmond doubted it. Artemus was just drunk enough to begin to show it, but when he was in full form- as he was tonight- everything always seemed to go his way. Still, if Artemus wanted to be carried out it was likely for some reason other than because he’d consumed enough alcohol to become foolish- two or three other reasons at once, probably, knowing Artemus.

So he nodded, but did say, “What about Jim?”

Artemus scanned the room, but it was a feigned gesture even in its drunken liquidity. Artemus Gordon always had at least one eye on James West. It was a law of the universe. “He’s pretty well entrenched,” Artemus declared.

From the look of Jim- with one woman under each arm on chaise to the corner of the ballroom- Artemus was right. “Right,” Richmond said. “Let’s get you back to the train.”

Apparently Artemus was drunker than he’d seemed, because as soon as Richmond got close to him he sagged, taking a few weaving steps in the wrong direction. Accordingly, Richmond took his arm and slung it over his own shoulder. They weren’t far from the door, so the trip was a short one and it drew relatively little attention. Richmond directed a carriage to the rail yard and they spent the trip in a warm- and oddly charged- silence. Artemus dozed on his shoulder.

They arrived, and Richmond practically had to carry Artemus inside. Richmond poured Artie into his bed, and found himself oddly tired once he had. He lingered, sitting on the side of the bed. Artemus murmured, “You staying in a hotel, Dean?”  

“I hadn’t planned to,” Richmond replied. There was always room for him on the train. “And since when do you call me Dean?”

“Thought I’d better, under the circumstances.”

“What cir-” Richmond didn’t finish, because Artemus sat up and kissed him.

It would have been nice if Richmond could say that he’d been too surprised to kiss Artemus back. In reality, he was too surprised not to. It was only after he’d tasted the liquor on Artemus’ tongue and realized just how much he wanted to keep tasting it that he remembered he wasn’t supposed to do this. That he’d promised himself when he took the job as head of the secret service that he wouldn’t do this- and of all the situations to break that promise in, this one was profoundly bad.

“But-” he managed.

“Jim’ll be a while yet,” Artemus said, misunderstanding- deliberately or not, it was always hard to tell with him- Richmond’s reasons for protesting. “And by the time he gets back he wouldn’t notice a tiger in this bed, I guarantee it.”

Richmond reminded himself, again, why this was such a bad idea. Artemus was drunk, and Richmond was his superior, and this kind of secret was a dangerous one for any man to have, let alone the head of the secret service. Unfortunately, it was a little difficult to keep those reasons in view with Artemus kissing his neck.

“Stay,” Artemus murmured.

By a narrow margin, Richmond managed to keep himself from saying ‘yes’. But when Artemus kissed him again he didn’t say ‘no’, either.

The rest of the night passed in something of a blur, as if he was the one who had been drunk the whole time. Artemus’ hands and his mouth- which was as talented as his other skills suggested it might be- and his appreciative moans, the flavor of his brandy soaked kisses. He woke in the bed he usually slept in- one that had hosted many a royal and diplomat- and almost convinced himself that it had all been a very vivid dream. But his body was relaxed- and also sore- in all the wrong places for that to be the case, and though he’d obviously been cleaned up he still a bit sticky with sweat and… other things as well.

It took him a few moments to make himself get up. He pulled on a dressing gown helpfully left out for him and headed toward the parlor car.

Jim West was sitting on the couch, looking as unkempt as Richmond had ever seen him. His hair was disarranged, his eyes were red, and his expression was extremely sour. Artemus, on the other hand, looked as fresh as a spring morning. Indeed, he hummed cheerfully to himself as he brought Jim a cup of something.

“Hangover remedy,” he said, pressing it into his partner’s hands.

Jim made a disgusted face.

“Aunt Maud used to swear by that,” Artemus said. “And if it’s ever done less than make you feel better, you can throw it at me.”

Jim didn’t throw it at him. He drank it, cringing all the way. But he did mutter, “As if you’ve ever needed it.” He set the cup aside and looked Artemus over. “I take it you had a productive evening,” he said.

“Oh, very. I retrieved the ambassador’s letter and left early without a hitch. I even translated it late last night- or perhaps it was early this morning. It’s more than enough to give us the head start we need on foiling his plans.” Artemus went back to humming, making his way to the kitchen to start breakfast as Jim eyed him with obvious suspicion.

Richmond lingered in the doorway for a few more moments. It was clear that Artemus hadn’t been anywhere near as drunk as he’d seemed the night before, which was a relief in itself.

Jim noticed him at last and nodded his head. “Sir.”

Richmond nodded back. Artemus- still looking even more pleased with himself than usual- came back with a carafe of coffee, three cups, and some pastries. It seemed unlikely that he had any regrets about the night before, but Richmond crossed to him anyway and bumped his shoulder against Artemus’. Artemus never paused in filling a cup and handing it to him. “And how was your evening?” he asked.

Richmond nearly choked on a mouthful of coffee. “Good,” he said, when he could speak. He considered his words carefully. “You know I avoid such activities normally.”

“I do,” Artemus said casually, filling another cup and passing it to Jim.

“But… perhaps they have merit.”

Artemus glanced sideways at him, and his eyes glinted. “I’m pleased to hear it,” he said, and leaned very subtly into Richmond’s shoulder.

Jim eyed them for a moment, then rolled his eyes and drank his coffee in silence.         


End file.
